i was in the bathroom. i couldn't feel my eyelids. those goddamn eyelids! i can never feel them if i'm eating anything. the window was too big for me to see out of, as smoke from the bonfire below clouded it. so i began to shit. and i shit and i shit and i shit. i was groaning as loud as hell. my mom callled in. "jarvis, what are you doing in there?" she must have thought i was choking, because i frequently eat in the bathroom, and since the door wasn't locked she came in. I immediately stood up and shot thunderbolts out of my mouth at her, but she ducked down and grabbed my legs, tripping me. i fell face-first into the wall and blood immediately started spewing out of my feelingless eyelids. as i leaned againt the wall vomiting and crying, she inserted her fingers into my shitty ass and began rhythmically moving them to and fro. so i joined in the beat by stomping my feet on the and of four, clapping my hands on two and three. it was a beautiful symphony of the unmasked soldier orchestra. with that i was gone.
-lb fletcher and m laher
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